LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

Camp: Clash of the Dodgeball Titans

By Optimist Reader
Posted on April 3, 2012 | Letters to the Editor | 2 comments

By Jon “Pink Slime” Camp

Fair Melpomene,

Sing of our ferocious dodgeball madness,

Recount our undergrad slaughter.

Set to purpose my pen to greatness,

As I make the millennials shudder.

For on the barren plain of Gym A,

We find our hero McCracken.

He is our Maximus, indeed, Doctore!

For whom we will leave all else beaten.

Surrounded is he by warriors renown,

Having come of age in antiquity,

When skills in the arts of dodgeball were known,

Before it was banned in PE.

Here’s John “the Ballerina,” blood-drenched with delight,

John Mark who frightens the dark.

David the Dark Knight with fervor to light

Up your world by hitting his mark.

Here’s Casey the Swift, a Giant named Houston,

And Pedro the man with quick feet.

Here’s Matthew the Young One and Kilnam the Spry One,

“Pink Slime” with primordial screams.

The shock and awe as we smote and dispatched

Those GSP boys into oblivion!

The rush, the pitch, the throw, the catch

We delivered with subtle precision.

And to you boys of Galaxy,

Who thought you had us beat:

Your rosy-fingered attempts to fling

Caused laughter among us so sweet!

So if you think you’ll win dodgeball

Against us, you’re sadly mistaken.

For when you fall–and fall you shall!

It’s because we released the McCracken!

reader Posted by Optimist Reader on Apr 3rd, 2012 and filed under Letters to the Editor. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.  - This post has been viewed 14295 times.

2 Responses for “Camp: Clash of the Dodgeball Titans”

  1. Jon Camp jwc03b says:
    April 4, 2012 at 10:55 am

    Unfortunately, I wrote this just prior to being stricken by the “Purple Cobra.” Congratulations to the winners. You faught valiantly. Team “Release the McCracken” shall rise with renewed fury next year.

  2. cbuse cbuse says:
    April 4, 2012 at 10:58 pm

    Just Thalia

    Dodgeball is so overrated
    You’d think that this author was bated
    To write an ode to the sport
    and all its epic contorts.
    But bated? Not “pink slime” not ever
    For “pink slime” is ever so clever
    To write with so lowly an inkling.
    I know this…I am his sibling.
    But greatness? His pen may achieve
    a dodgeball madness reprieve.

Comments are closed